Big questions about the girl in the polka dot bikini, folks sucking in their guts and the future of photojournalism poolside at The Jones

Who are these people?

(You can plug in the lyric from "Who are you..." here if you are a Who fan.)

One of my guilty pleasures is the photo galleries the Star posts to its Web site via INK. This one is about a pool party on the roof of the long-gone Jones Store. Go there, then come back.

I say to you again, who are these people? Never in the history of photography have so many people expended so much effort holding their bellies in. You can almost hear the choir of sighs after the camera goes off.

And what are these poses? Who are they imitating? Do they all imagine they are shooting a still version of a rap video? Hmmm....Not a very integrated rap video, eh? I mean, what are these poses they are striking about?

The star here seems to be the young woman in a polka dot bikini. Isn't that a song from the 1950s? Somebody needs to buy her a sandwich. Maybe she's in so many pictures because she doesn't have to hold her belly in. It's concave.

And is this the proud future of photojournalism?

--Lofflin, puzzling the mysteries of the universe.