Wednesday, February 15, 2012

What kind of uncle will I be?

My sister-in-law Sarah is literally nine months pregnant. No kidding. Her due date was yesterday.

So as we await word that the water has broken and prepare to go to the hospital (whenever that day comes) to welcome our newest family member, I've been thinking a lot about what kind of uncle I'll be.

This is a big deal for me; I don't have any children, and this will be my first niece or nephew (nobody knows the gender yet, not even the parents). This is also my parents' first grandchild and my brother's first kid, so... yeah, we're all pretty excited.

I've been thinking about famous uncles, and I wonder if I'll share any of their traits:

Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey, "Full House"

"Full House" was the hottest show on television when I was a youngster, and Uncle Jesse (John Stamos) and Uncle Joey (Dave Coulier) shaped my childhood ideals of what an uncle should be like.

Uncle Jesse was the cool uncle, a musician who rode a Harley, wore leather jackets and dated beautiful women - basically, an '80s version Charlie Sheen's character from "Two and a Half Men." I'm not particularly a badass, but I hope my niece or nephew will think I'm cool.

Uncle Joey was a stand-up comedian who was great at making his nieces laugh. And since most of my jokes are infantile, I think I'll do pretty well here.

Uncle Jesse, "The Dukes of Hazzard"

The second Uncle Jesse on my list was also a staple of my childhood. He's the irascible uncle to Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy Duke, and a couple other Duke boys (none of whom are brother and sister). Jesse was always happy to take in his nephews and niece, and at any given time three of them lived with him full-time. If, god forbid, my niece or nephew needed a home, I would be first in line to provide it.

And, Uncle Jesse kind of reminds me of my dad. I love my dad, and I can't think of a better person to emulate.

Uncle Fester, "The Addams Family"

Fester was a little before my time, but I remember him from the reruns. Despite the picture, Uncle Fester wasn't the brightest bulb. But he had the capacity to be sweet. I know I'll be a sweet uncle too.

Uncle Scrooge, Disney

Scrooge certainly has some personality traits I wouldn't want to emulate, but according to a Time magazine article (via Wikipedia), Uncle Scrooge is worth "one multiplujillion, nine obsquatumatillion, six hundred twenty-three dollars and sixty-two cents." If I can gain Scrooge's wealth, maybe I can pass a few obsquatumatillion bucks down to my niece or nephew.

Uncle Buck, "Uncle Buck"

Buck wasn't exactly an attentive uncle, but he stood up for his nieces and nephews just like they were his own children. He even threatened to murder his niece's boyfriend. I'm sure my brother will appreciate that when dates start coming around.

Although I hope to borrow traits from each of these uncles, as well as my own great aunts and uncles, I want to be unique and special to my niece or nephew.

I want to be Uncle Matt.

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