Thursday, July 23, 2009

What's wrong with major league baseball? No, it isn't the inability of middle infielders to bunt. It's the high cost of inventory accumulation. Ugh!

What's wrong with major league baseball? Read this quote from a story by Jesse Sanchez on this morning, and you'll know:

"One of the things that we liked about today's acquisition is that it was at a relatively reasonable acquisition cost, especially in terms of our prospect inventory, so that there's no real opportunity cost lost with this move," Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein said. "We'll still continue to pursue further upgrades to the club."

1) ... a relatively reasonable acquisition cost
2) terms of our prospect inventory
3) real opportunity cost lost...
4) ...pursue further upgrades...

This is not the language of baseball, or even of humans. It could be lifted whole from a press release issued by a bloated pharmaceutical conglomerate. Epstein is one of the new whiz kids in baseball management. Wish they'd decided to sell Viagra or cell phone applications instead.

By the way, this nearly unreadable quotation came in response to a trade which sent a real human being, Adam LaRoche, to the Red Sox for two minor leaguers. The Pirate GM said his club is still in "talent accumulation mode." Hope Pittsburgh fans enjoy watching talent accumulate as they munch their hot dogs at the old ball park.

--Lofflin -- thinking this would be funny if it weren't a symptom of the business-speak flu infecting all areas of otherwise human endeavor...

PPS: Noticed in today's Kansas City Star general manager Dayton Moore is fond of the process he is using to build the ballclub. “Our processes are good. Our processes are consistent..." Moore told the Star in his best corporate-speak. Let's hope Kansas City Royals fans, like Pittsburgh Pirate fans, enjoy -- the midst of a miserable nine-game losing streak -- watching the process of building a ballclub rather than watching major league play.

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